Category: Stealthy Recipes

Vegetarian Farro Chickpea Stew

Stealthy Recipes by JESSICA0 comments

Well I’m officially feeling better. Praise baby Jesus! After 3 days with minimal movement and human interaction, I was starting to question my sanity. I’m pretty sure at one point Mac started talking… that may have also been the 27 ibprofin I took to rid myself of omgtheworstheadacheever.

 

But about this stew. I made it about 2 weeks ago as “lunch for the week”, and it was my first tango with farro. Farro is an interesting little grain. Much like quinoa, it’s a very versatile grain, and a fantastic source of protein (7g per serving). I used the pearled variety, which basically means the outer husk has been removed, making it much easier (and faster!) to prepare. I feel extremely smart right now. (Don’t be fooled, though, I’m sure to say something completely air-headed in the next few seconds.)

 

In fact, in middle-school, people used to pull on my ear and make a hissing noise, as if to let the air out of a balloon. Only because I was such an airhead, I didn’t even get what that meant. I also earned the nickname “Duh, Jessica” after an unfortunate incident in gym glass where I shot a hockey puck into the wrong goal. And yes, I realize it’s pretty funny, but dude, middle school was hard enough without adding fuel to the fire.

Really, I could talk about how much I loathed grades 4-7 all day. I mean, how is it possible that between the ages of 8 and 11 human beings are capable of being pure evil? Yes, I was smart and maybe I was the kid who raised their hand a lot. And ok, so I had glasses and was freakishly tall, but whatever. Excuse me for being enthusiastic about learning and wanting to be friends with my teachers, is that so wrong? Stupid mean kids…

Can you even imagine if we had Facebook back then? Oof. It literally gives me the chills.

Speaking of, you know what’s good for chills?

Offff course you do.

 

Vegetarian Farro Chickpea Stew
Serves: 6
Cook time: about 40 minutes
You’ll Need:
1 T olive oil
1/2 cup frozen chopped kale
1/2 a medium yellow onion, chopped
1 tsp. crushed red pepper
1 tsp. cumin
1/4 tsp. smoked paprika
1 T garlic, minced
15 oz can diced tomatoes
15 oz can chickpeas, rinsed and drained
6 cups water + 2 T Better Than Bouillon vegetable base (or sub veg stock)
1 cup farro, rinsed and drained
Salt & pepper to taste

Directions: In a large soup pot, heat oil over med-high heat and sautee onion, kale, crushed red pepper and garlic until onions are translucent and kale is softened. Add diced tomatoes, cumin and paprika, and simmer for about 6 minutes. Add vegetable broth, chickpeas and farro. Bring to a boil, then reduce to a simmer and cook for 15-20 minutes, or until farro is al dente. Salt & pepper to taste. Serve with crusty bread.

 

This soup was way better than middle school.

Happy Monday!…

Wheat Berry Salad (Veg Challenge Kick Off)

Stealthy Recipes by JESSICA0 comments

Oh hey, have you heard about my exciting 28 Day Vegetarian Challenge? If you work with me, are my friend or are married to me, chances are you have and get the idea. K, just making sure.

 

Now that we have that out of the way, let me introduce brand new ingredient number one:
Wheat Berries, come on doowwwnnnn!

And oh, hello, what do we have here…?

Wheat Berry Salad

Ha…tricked you, its fakon. (Fake+bacon). While thinking about this recipe, I couldn’t deny that bacon would be the perfect add-in, but alas, not allowed in the challenge. Enter facon. (Which I’ve also never used…might count that in week 4 if I’m lazy, just sayin.)

Then I had the brilliant idea to sautee my kale in the facon oil as to not waste any of the essence of meat. Hmm..maybe this challenge is going to be harder than I thought.

I did spend like $200 at the grocery store yesterday in preparation for this, so I should probably go ahead and get excited about it. At least when my husband is looking…
Yes, dear, I absolutely needed 47 bags of frozen vegetables. I know that’s a lot but, I can’t have meat, and am going to be super hungry. Yes, fine, you can get a new Xbox game.

 

Plus as long as I can still use olive oil and goat cheese I think I’ll fair just fine. (Check in with me in about three weeks to confirm that statement.)

Wheat Berry Salad
(Inspired by Macheesmo)
You’ll Need:
1 cup uncooked soft white wheat berries
2 cups roughly chopped kale
1 tsp coconut oil
1/4 tsp nutmeg
1 orange bell pepper, finely chopped
1/2 red onion, finely chopped
3 strips vegetarian bacon substitute
1 avocado
1 lemon
1-2 tbsp goat cheese
2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
Salt and Pepper

Directions:
Cook wheat berries according to package. (I placed mine in water with a 1/4 tsp of salt, brought to a boil, reduced to simmer and cooked for about 70 minutes.) When finished cooking, drain and set aside.
Evenly dice onion and pepper, slice the avocado and combine in a large bowl. Sautee bacon over medium heat for about 4 minutes in a coated pan. Remove and crumble into bowl with peppers and onion. Add about a tsp of coconut oil to pan over med heat, and sautee kale with the oil from the bacon. Sprinkle nutmeg over kale, then sautee, stirring to distribute flavor. Once fairly wilted, remove from heat and combine with other ingredients. Add about a tbsp of lemon zest and the juice of half a lemon and toss. Spoon in cooked wheat berries and drizzle with olive oil. Crumble goat cheese on top and toss all ingredients to combine. Salt and pepper to taste.

 

So yeah, this was pretty fantastic. Who knew wheat berries were so delicious? They have a really unique texture and flavor to them that I really like. I will most definitely be eating this for lunch all week. Lots of good flavor and very filling, which is key, especially when you take meat out of your diet. Or if you are a chronic afternoon snacker. Which I am. (You can take my meat, but you’ll never have my Nutella.)…

Luck Be a Spare Key Tonight (Shrimp Étouffée Recipe)

Stealthy Recipes by JESSICA0 comments

I’m not what you’d call “lucky”. I don’t win raffles, I’ve never found a $100 bill and no one’s showed up at my house yet with that sweepstakes check that I’ve been promised now like 300 times… (I’m on to you, random “to current resident” letters…if you don’t know my name, how can you possibly know I’ve won anything…hmm..)

Back to my bad luck. Last night I took the pup for a run. It was a gorgeous day and I was excited to get some bonding time in with the handsome little fellow while getting in my workout. I knew I had to hustle though, because it was my father-in-law’s birthday and the Mr. would be home soon to go to dinner. I picked up my cell phone to leave a message for said husband that went as follows:
“Hey hun, taking the dog for a run, be home in like 40 minutes. Locking the door- hope you have your key, see you when you get here!” Click. Phone on counter. Door locked. Gettin’ my run on.
About 40 minutes later, as promised, we huffed back to the house and as I went to turn the door knob, I found an upsetting thing…it was still locked.

After about 10 minutes of my dog giving me the stink eye and panting heavily, I asked a neighbor for some water. I jealously watched him quench his little puppy thirst, wishing I’d asked for water for myself. I waited another 20 minutes, during which I proceeded to perform walking lunges across the distance of my backyard followed by awkward squats. Whats an awkward squat you ask? Have you ever tried doing squats while holding onto a 90lb dog who has a fancy for chasing wildlife? Bonus: core strengthener.

So after about 45 minutes of (not so) patiently waiting, I decided I should probably mosey back to the neighbors and make a phone call. Here’s a little recap:

Brandon: “Hey where are you??? I’ve called you like 10 times!”
Me: “Oh, did you by chance listen to your message?”
Brandon: “Yes, you took the dog for a walk. I’ve been freaking out thinking you were abducted! Who’s number is this?? Is this a ransom call??”
Me: <long silence> “I’m not coming to dinner.”

Does that make me a bad wife? Maybe. But at least I know how to listen to a voicemail.

So now onto ways that I am lucky:

  • I do actually have a pretty amazing husband. And even when he doesn’t listen, he still has the cutest dimples I’ve ever seen which conveniently can instantly make me forget why I was angry
  • I also have the best mom in the world who teaches me how to cook really delicious things
  • One of those things is Shrimp Étouffée
  • I now know how to make Shrimp Étouffée and am going to share with you!
  • Don’t you feel lucky… 🙂

Shrimp Étouffée

(Adapted from: Simplyrecipes.com)
You’ll need:
2 pounds shrimp
1/4 cup olive oil
1/4 cup flour
1/2 large onion, chopped
1 bell pepper, chopped
2 jalapeno peppers, chopped
1 large celery stalk, chopped
4 garlic cloves, chopped
1 pint clam juice
2 Tbsp Cajun seasoning
1 Tbsp sweet paprika
Salt
3 green onions, chopped
Hot sauce (we used Crystal)
1 28oz can diced tomatoes (this added the perfect touch!)
Pinch of fresh cilantro
Pinch of Thai basil (these were last-minute add-ons as well from the garden, & they added nice flavor)

Dice up your veggies. Then make a roux by heating oil in a heavy pot over medium heat for about 2 minutes. Stir in the flour, making sure there no clumps. Let this cook, stirring constantly, until it turns brown (takes about 10 minutes).

Add the celery, green pepper, jalapeno and onion; mix well and cook over medium heat for 4 minutes, stirring occasionally. Add the garlic and cook another 2 more minutes.

Slowly add the clam juice, stirring constantly. Add enough to make a sauce about the thickness of syrup, about 1 pint.

Add the Creole seasoning and paprika; mix well. Add salt to taste, then stir in the shrimp. This is where we got stuck on the flavor, and me being the culinary genius I am (and so modest too) had the brilliant idea to add the diced tomato. The acidity of the tomatoes added the perfect balance that we were looking for (as luck would have it.)

Cover the pot, turn the heat to low and cook for 10 minutes. Add onions and hot sauce to taste. Serve over white or brown rice.

So you see, sometimes I can get lucky. And I have a feeeling if you make this for your significant other, you migh get lucky. Haaa…

*EDIT: I also left my windows down last night since I was, you know, planning on going out again… and it rained. A lot.
Yesterday- 1, Jess- 0.

*EDIT 2: A special thank you to my Biff, who we wisely decided to give a spare key, and totally saved the day and let me inside. LOVE YOU BOO!!…

Baked “Fried” Chicken Recipe

Stealthy Recipes by JESSICA0 comments

Ah, Biff Night.

There are few things in life as therapeutic as an evening spent with your best friend, watching television shows that may actually decrease your IQ just by watching (sorry, Tyra, you know I love you girl) and making delicious food. If it weren’t for these mid-week gatherings, I just don’t know how I’d make it to Saturday.

This week we decided to try our hand at Jillian Michael’s “Shred” DVD. Here I was thinking I’d float right through it while poor Mary struggled and huffed and puffed. (See, Mary has been blessed with being a “petite” girl who never had to work out a day in her life, and could eat cheese steaks while I stared enviously over my salad with no cheese and light dressing. She’s a newbie to the world of excersise, but I’m happy to be her tourguide.) Now I’m no stranger to squats and hand wieghts, in fact, most days I’m so sore from whatever brutal class I attended that I walk around like I’ve been hit by a moving car. But I have to tell you, I officially got Shred-ed. Damn you, Jillian Michals. Damn you and your perfect abs and evil power sets. You win this round, but I’m coming back, and next time I will get through all of those reverse crunches, mark my words.

And what better way to reward yourself for being Shred-ed, than by cooking something that tastes like it was battered and fried. (But guess what? It totally wasn’t.)

Baked “Fried” Chicken

You’ll need:
1lb boneless skinless chicken tenders
1 cup reduced fat buttermilk
1 cup panko breadcrumbs or
1 cup French’s fried onions, crushed

Preheat oven to 400. Dip the chicken tenders in the buttermilk, and then in the breadcrumbs (or fried onions, whichever you prefer). Place the coated tenders on a wire baking rack, on top of a baking sheet. Bake in the oven for about 20 minutes or until golden brown on top.

As you can see from the color variation, we did half of the tenders with the panko breadcrumbs and half with the fried onions. They were both really good, but the fried onions added some extra flavor. Obviously not the healthier option, but hey, sometimes you just gotta indulge.

Baked “Fried” Chicken Recipe_1

We served the chicken with some whole grain rice and steamed broccoli in a little light cheese sauce. And to kick it up a notch, I added a little bit of liquid heaven or as it’s known to common folk, Frank’s RedHot sauce.
Do work, Frank’s.
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BBQ Chicken & Mushroom Tortilla Pizza

Stealthy Recipes by JESSICA0 comments

There are so so many things I love about this meal. And yes, it’s kind of a “duh recipe”, as in, it’s so easy I almost feel bad blogging about it. However, I would feel even worse not telling you about this tasty little treat. I’m really just a selfless person like that.

So the things I like…

Pizza
  • It’s pizza. (Again, duh.) I LOVE pizza. It’s the jam. The ‘ish. The stuff. Whatever, it’s my favorite and I’ll continue my love affair with it until the day I can’t get my dentures moving fast enough to chew it.
  • It took less than 15 minutes. What’s that you say? Less than 15? Yes, pretend voices, less than 15. Including chopping.
pizza
  • It serves one. If you make just one. You can make as many as you like, but if you find yourself in a situation where your husband already grilled and ate 3 hot sausages, and you just got back from yoga and are completely famished, well hey, this completely hypothetical situation might call for a single serving. But maybe make two so you don’t wish you had more later.
  • It was made up completely by things I always have laying around, including random veggies and leftover grilled chicken. Say word.
pizza

BBQ Chicken & Mushroom Tortilla Pizza
Total time: 15 minutes
Serves: 1
You’ll Need:
1 flour tortilla (medium-sized)
2 T bbq sauce of your choice (I used Sweet Baby Ray’s)
2 oz shredded reduced-fat cheddar cheese
1 oz chopped baby portobello mushrooms
1 oz chopped onion
1-2 oz diced grilled chicken breast
1 T chopped fresh parsley
1 tsp crushed red pepper

Directions: Preheat oven to 350, spray baking sheet with olive oil. Place tortilla on baking sheet and spread bbq sauce evenly. Add most of the cheese, then the chicken, mushrooms, and onion. Finish with the remaining cheese and fresh parsley, then sprinkle with crushed red pepper. Bake for 10 minutes, or until tortilla is crispy and cheese is melted.

The other great thing about this is you can very easily make it vegetarian and just add additional vegetables you like. Normally I’m more of a veggie-pizza girl, but like I said, using up leftovers makes me feel like I earned a gold star for the day.

pizaa

Or at least a glass of wine.

I earn a lot of gold stars.…

GF Mexican Casserole

Stealthy Recipes by JESSICA0 comments

So y’all know I love me some Mexican food. And if you don’t know… now you know. (Thanks, Biggie.) I actually had it in one form or another three times last week, almost four, but me and my girlfriends cancelled dinner plans one night. Besides pizza, it’s my favorite thing to eat. I’m talking stretch-pants-mandatory-no-room-at-the-inn eat. Basically I like it.

GF Mexican Casserole

So when I tried to stop eating gluten, one of the hardest things for me to give up were flour tortillas. (No, I didn’t stop eating gluten just because I’m a trendy hipster, I read it helps with hypothyroidism and some other health issues, also I’m a little bit of a trendy hipster). Slowly and begrudgingly, I made the transition to corn tortillas, one burrito at a time, and it’s safe to say that I am now a full-blown corn tortilla convert. Sure you have to double-up on most them because they tear so easy, but they’re also drastically less calories, so I hardly feel guilty about that.

And also that just means I can add more cheese. #JessMath

GF Mexican Casserole

The rest of the ingredients in this dish came from a few of my kitchen staples and a need to use up the remainder of the most delicious corn on the planet that we brought home from our cabin a week prior. And as I hoped, it created a beautiful, cheesy, Mexican-inspired mess.

Gluten-Free Mexican Casserole
Serves: 4-6
Cook time: about 45 minutes

You’ll Need:
1lb lean ground turkey
1 sm. red onion, chopped
2 jalapenos (or other pepper of your choice), chopped
4 T taco seasoning, or 1 packet, + 3/4 cup water, (I use Penzeys bc I love them)
2 ears fresh corn, cut off the cobb
1 can diced chiles
2 cups sharp and/or mild cheddar cheese
1/2 cup salsa of your choice, plus more for serving
1 pack small corn tortillas

Directions:
Preheat oven to 350. In a large pan, sprayed lightly with oil, heat onions and chopped peppers for about 5 minutes over med-high, until softened. Add ground turkey and cook until browned, about another 8 minutes. Stir in taco seasoning and water, and simmer over medium heat until liquid is absorbed. Stir in corn and can of chiles until combined. In a baking dish, spoon about 1/4 cup of salsa onto the bottom and layer with corn tortillas (about 5-6) to cover the bottom. Add half the turkey mixture, half the cheese, and another layer of tortillas. (You can use less this time if you want, I used 6 again.) Then add another 1/4 cup of salsa, turkey mixture, and the final layer of tortillas (again, up to you how many you’d like to use here) and the rest of the cheese. Bake in the oven for about 20-25 minutes, or until cheese is completely melted. (If you make this ahead of time and refrigerate it, give it a little longer to heat through.) Garnish with avocado, lime, cilantro, , sriracha, sour cream or whatever other fixins’ you like!

Printer-Friendly Recipe

This was so insanely flavorful and such an easy dinner to make. You guys know I love meals you can make ahead of time, but it also made for killer leftovers. I’d like to say we ate this three days in a row, but we hogged out so hard that the leftovers only lasted the next day.

No judgement.…

Orange & Ginger Apple Cider Shandy #howsweetbabyshower

Stealthy Recipes by JESSICA0 comments

Today I am taking part of a virtual celebration of sorts for one of my dearest friends, as arranged by the hilarious Bev (that Instagram, tho.) and the lovely Ashley! As I’m sure most of you know, Jessica (of How Sweet It Is) is having a baby! A baby who I think might actually come out covered in sprinkles. But like in a cute way, not a weird “wtf is my baby covered in sprinkles?” way. She also just wrote a book. You should order it. Trust me.

apple cider shandy

Mine and Jess’ friendship was pretty much instantaneous. I think we first bonded over a girl crush on Miranda Lambert and obsession with Felicity, but through this magical world of blogging have since become a real-life friends and I’m so grateful for that. Few people appreciate/share my over-usage of exclamation points, “OMG”s and love of television quite like she does, and also she’s just a pretty great friend all around. When I first started dealing with my fertility issues, Jess was one of the only people I talked to about it, and she will forever have a place in my heart for that.

SO… In honor of the lovely Jessica…

How Sweet Final Graphic

 (Amazing job with the graphic, Ashley.)

I made something boozy. And perfect for fall!

apple cider shandy

Ok, so maybe you’re thinking I’m a crappy friend for choosing to make a cocktail for a baby shower. But that’s where you’re wrong. A- I’m an awesome friend so your theory is already bunk. And 2, I know that Jess loves her a seasonal cocktail and so I’m taking one for the team and drinking this in her honor. See? Best friend ever.

This cocktail is one that I have been thinking about since I first saw fresh apple cider make its way into my grocery store. I wanted to make something adult-beverage-y with it, but since I’m not a big liquor person, I went the beer route. The great thing about this drink is that it’s light enough you can have a few, it is only half a beer after all, and it’s not too sweet like some of the hard ciders out there. The ginger and orange add another level of spice that really hit this one home for me and basically made this taste like fall in a glass.

Oh and also, I bought these glasses for Brandon for Christmas, as in this upcoming Christmas which has not happened yet, which I then had to tell him… so now we just have new pilsner glasses and I have to buy him more things. #bestwifeever

 apple cider shandy

Orange Ginger Apple Cider Shandy
Makes 2
Prep time 5 min
You’ll Need:
1 12oz beer (I used Dogfish Head Namaste, but any lager or wheat beer would work great)
1 cup ginger beer
3/4 cup apple cider
1 orange for orange peel garnish

Directions: In a separate glass or pitcher, combine ginger beer and cider. Pour equal halves of the beer into each glass, add cider mixture and garnish with orange peel. Enjoy.

apple cider shandy

So cheers to you, my sweet friend, and to your little one who is (OMG!!) almost here! xoxo…

Black Bean Veggie Burgers

Stealthy Recipes by JESSICA0 comments

You know what’s great about a vegetarian diet?

…No seriously, tell me because the last five days have consisted of me opening and then closing, opening and then closing the refrigerator, skipping the entire back wall of the grocery store (they have bacon back there people, BACON) and waking up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat and shouting “LUNCH MEAT!”

 

Alright, maybe some of those things aren’t true…ok none of them are true, but the point…the point is, being a vegetarian is hard work, y’all.

 

It was easy for me to say, “Oh, I could totally be a vegetarian.” I don’t eat red meat very often, and I regulary incorporate so many vegetables and grains and beans already.
False. It’s hard. Not every meal, or even every day. But when you cook dinner every single night and have to think of something other than ground turkey or chicken to start with, it’s a challenge. And for some crazy reason I decided to eliminate fish and eggs as well. I’m obviously a masochist.

However with the challenges do come a lot of positives. Firstly, eating a dinner where the main ingredient was never a character in a Disney movie is nice. (To this day I will never, I repeat, never eat venison. Or watch Bambi again because I bawl like a baby every time.) Also, even though I still feel full after a vegetarian meal, it’s different. I don’t feel tired or weighed down. I feel satisfied and even energized.

So when I started planning my meals, there was one that I knew I would be making. I saw this recipe on the lovely Andie‘s blog, of whom I just adore, and am inspired by daily to be a better writer. I just can’t say enough good things about this chick, so if you are by any slim chance not familiar with her blog- get familiar with it. But just not until you finish reading this because her pictures literally blow mine out of the water and I’ve already been embarrassed enough today. (Just found out you could see my underwear through my dress all day. Yep, nice Victoria’s Secret PINK billboard across my booty. Awesome.)

Black Bean Veggie Burgers
(Adapted From Can You Stay For Dinner?)
You’ll Need:
1 tsp coconut oil
1/4 cup diced onions (I used frozen diced)
3 medium carrots, chopped
1/4 cup peppers, chopped (I used a bag of mixed frozen- so easy)
2 tsp minced garlic
2 tbsp ketchup
2 tsp dijon mustard
2 tsp ground cumin
2 tsp ground chili powder
1 tsp grill seasoning
1 tsp red pepper flakes
1/4 tsp salt
3/4 cup black beans, rinsed & drained
1/4 cup panko bread crumbs

Directions:
Preheat oven to 450 degrees. In a large skillet over med-high heat, melt coconut oil and add peppers, onions and carrots and sautee for about 5 minutes until softened. Add garlic and sautee for a quick 30 seconds. Then add ketchup, mustard, chili powder, cumin, grill seasoning, salt and red pepper flakes; combine.
Remove from heat and allow to cool. Then transfer into a food processor and add beans and bread crumbs. Pulse a few times to combine and then shape into 2 patties. Place patties on a baking sheet (covered in foil for easy cleanup!) coated with cooking spray. Bake for about 15 minutes and allow to cool for a few minutes before serving. I served mine on a whole grain english muffin with a few slices of avocado and some melted reduced-fat provolone cheese and topped with some leafy greens.

 

These are reason enough to embrace vegetarianism. No lie. I ate them two nights in a row (and almost ate them both the first night except for the fact they are super filling and huge.) Week one of the challenge is almost to a close and I have to say this was my favorite meal of the week by far. I’ve got a few other great ones coming too, but wow. I heart these.
And just an fyi if you find me wandering around that back wall in the grocery store, pay no mind, for this too shall pass.…