Stylish, Stealthy & Healthy.


Stuff Lately

Heeeyo. What’s crackin? I was feeling chatty today so I thought I’d pop in for a quickie. (Not that kind.) What can I say, I get separation anxiety when I don’t talk to you for too long!

Speaking of separation anxiety… we have become people who’s dog is on crazy pills. Not that I’m judging, I’m on them too. In fact, we’re on the same ones. Yes, Mac is on Prozac. I’m surprised it took us this long to do it, the poor baby is 40 pounds of nerves and shakes, and just about has a heart attack when someone besides me or Brandon walks into the house. He’s gotten a little better over the years, but I think this will be a big help with his overall stress level. (Trust me, I realize how ridiculous I sound.) I’m not sure if it will be a forever thing, but at least for now I think him and Ace seem to be getting along better.

best frands

Ace is still a little wrecking ball. And this dog pees like a 9-month-pregnant woman (or so I’d imagine.) He literally peed ON MY FOOT yesterday. I mean, I get it, he wanted to go out and we were busy cleaning the floors (oh hey, irony) so he was like “eff you, mom”. He really is lucky he’s so cute.

In other news, we saw American Sniper this weekend and I looooved it. We’re not big movie-goers, I’d rather sit on my couch drinking wine, and be able to pause it once I’ve inevitably missed something important because I was checking Instagram, but I’m so glad we went to see this. Though admittedly I cried so hard Brandon said people were going to think I lost someone in combat. SORRY, I’M EMOTIONAL.


My last little tidbit is that I think I might finally self-host my little blog. It’s a concept I’ve toyed with since I started, but I think I might be ready to make the leap. So having said that, I have zero idea how to make that happen, so I’m sure it will be a complete disaster, but you’ve been warned. Stay tuned for details…and hopefully some ads to help support my Target addiction! Hooray!

Hope you’re all having splendid weeks, now tell me fun things you’re doing! (Or if you have a crazy dog on meds, please tell me if it helped!)


Christmas is Over and I’m Feeling 32

Hello, friends. It’s me! Jessica! (Remember the movie “The Hot Chick”? If not you will not get that reference.)

Anywho. Another Christmas has come and gone, and I’m already ready to take down all the Christmas decor. I love a lit tree at night, but I also hate clutter and this snowman cookie jar on my breakfast bar is just asking to be put away in the dark corners of our cupboard. So just for funsies I thought I’d pop in and give you a little recap of my holiday festivities and my birthday, because I’m assuming someone out there wants to know what I’ve been up to…

So we broke down and decided to get a tree this year, which was a whole ordeal. I was anti-tree because I knew that Acehole would either destroy it or get sick from drinking all the tree water. We ended up caving because B’s whole family comes over on Christmas morning and we felt like it just wouldn’t be right without one. I ended up finding a super cheap one at Tarjay ($26!) and learned a valuable lesson to never order anything for in-store pickup the week before Christmas. I was sassed every way til Sunday by a woman named Carrie with Uncle Leo eyebrows who clearly hated her job and me. But all’s well because I got my $26 tree and I think it turned out pretty spiffy.


As I mentioned, Brandon’s family comes to our house Christmas morning and the good news is the dogs did “ok”. They pretty much bark until they can’t bark anymore as soon as anyone knocks on the door or comes inside, so we left them in the basement to whimper and hate us.  They made a few cameos but with his sisters’ babies around (yes both sisters have babies and they’re both freaking ADORABLE) I thought best to keep them contained. The best part of the morning is his dad makes the most delicious eggs benedict known to man. The only downside of this is seeing the actual amount of butter that goes into that velvety sauce and having to live with yourself for the rest of the day. Which did not stop me from eating three. Or washing them down with mimosas. And eating a delicious dinner just a few hours later at my parents’ house.

I should have asked for more stretch pants this year.

So the next day was my 32nd birthday. And I have to say… it was kind of a weird one. I had a really lovely day, started off with brunch, then had some of my favorite lady friends over for food, wine and lots of catching up. But for the first time I actually didn’t quite feel like I had a birthday. Maybe it’s because I didn’t have any cake or blow out any candles (which is totally fine because honestly I’m so not a cake person), but I think it’s just that I’m getting older and more boring and after 30 I kind of wanted to stop counting. Maybe next year I should do something really crazy. Like go skydiving or leave the house without makeup.

On a high note, I did get a FAB new flat iron for my birthday and it’s pretty much the greatest flat iron I’ve ever laid hands on. It was more $$ than I care to admit, but it was a gift so it’s free to me! It also curls and makes soft waves so it’s fun for hours.

So that pretty much wraps it up! (Look, I made a Christmas pun!) I hope you had a wonderful holiday, whatever it may be, and a very Merry Christmas! I’m thinking about doing a post on my favorite beauty products of 2014, is that something anyone would care to see? Mom?

I’ll leave you with adorable pics of Ace dressed up in Christmas attire. (Mac would rather die, so just picture him sneering.) I realize every picture I used in this post is blurry, but to be fair, I was drinking when I took the tree picture and Ace doesn’t stat still for longer then 2 seconds.

Christmas Acehole

Happy New Year!


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