So it’s been a while.
How are things?
Summer going well? The family is good? Fab.
So I just thought I’d pop in for a quick story, because if anyone likes to tell a story, it’s this girl right here. Everything is always “the best/worst ever” or “I was DYING” or some other extreme exaggeration, but listen. I’m a sales girl at heart, and if I’m not evoking some sort of wide-eyed or jaw-dropping or crying-laughing reaction, I’m not doing my job.
But this my friends… this time, it was truly the worst.
It all started a few days ago when we let Mac outside for his nighttime duties (no pun intended), and noticed two small fuzzy black and white creatures lurking nearby. Well, it turned out we had a little skunk family taking up residence under our deck, and therefore I began living in fear. Running to my car like I was being chased by the Texas Chainsaw Massacre dude. Peering through the blinds out the back door expecting to see big fat mamma skunk waiting out there, giving me the “I’ll kill you” finger-across-the-neck move. Par-ah-lyzed , I tell you.
A few days later, we carefully ensured they had vacated and boarded up the deck. Surely we were in the clear.
Friday night, Brandon was at a friend’s, and I casually strolled outside with my glass of wine to let Mac do his thing before heading to bed. Two steps into the dark night, I realized shit was about to get real.
A standoff ensued between my sweet Mac who thought it was super-fun playtime!! and a baby skunk who didn’t quite know what to do. After screaming at the top of my lungs for the longest 30 seconds of my life, Mac finally came inside, foaming at the mouth and his eyes watering like faucets. I did the only thing I could and started crying.
I (VERY CAREFULLY) drug him to the bathroom to apply some sort of witches brew made from hydrogen peroxide and baking powder that the internet told me to use, only to have him knock the entire thing down the drain after getting about a tablespoon on him first. PS- have you ever tried to wash a 50lb dog by yourself? While trying to not get skunk stank on yourself? The crying continued.
I somehow managed to get rid of 95% of the smell, but refused to let him on any furniture and basically sequestered him in the living room, feeling tiny pieces of my heart breaking off as he stared up at my with those puppy eyes. I should also mention I had a wedding to attend on Saturday, and spent the majority of the night worrying that I had gotten the skunk smell onto myself, and everyone would be saying “DO YOU SMELL SKUNK?” around me all night, and I’d be all “I know right?” and slinking away to drown myself in perfume and shame.
The next day we used some stuff we bought at the pet store specifically for skunk odor and he’s pretty much free and clear now. Although, after two baths in two days you can imagine his hatred for us. I also got confirmation that I did not smell of the skunkness the next day. So in the end, I guess maybe it’s not the worst ever, but it was pretty terrible. Thankfully, Mac seems to have recovered just fine.
I, however, will not be leaving the house after 7pm for the rest of my life.