I don’t know if I’ve really gotten into it too much here on this old blog of mine, but if I’m being honest, I can never truly make up my mind if I want to have kids. Brandon and I have discussed it, but it always ends up with us saying things like “uggghhhhh MONEY!” or “groaaannnn SLEEPLESS NIGHTS!” or “OMGDIAPERS!”
People who hear these conversations tend to insist that we’ll change our minds, it’s never as bad as you think it will be, if you wait until you have enough money you’ll never do it, and yada yada yada. So as you can imagine, most of the time I am just fine and dandy with our little puppy who doesn’t require college tuition. But then I spend some time with this little angel…
Eye on the prize.
And I ALMOST forget about all that other stuff. Almost.
Because I also remember how much I love to lay around on Friday nights and drink wine with mah’ best friend…
And shop…
(These shoes were $7 on clearance at Target. SEVEN. DOLLARS.)
And I had to get something to wear with this J.Crew shirt that’s been sitting in my closet but also matches my new lipstick perfectly….
Did I mention the wine? Right.
So yeah. I can’t deny the adorableness that is my nephew (or any of my nephew’s for that matter…) but I think for now I’ll just stick with being a dog mom. Obviously my priorities aren’t quite there yet, and if we’re being honest, I’d like for a few more of my friends to go through the “joy” that is birthing a child to get the real scoop on how horrible it is (none of that “it’s not that bad!” bs) before I decide if I want to go down that path. Im sure this all makes me sound very selfish, and I guess in some ways I really am. But i feel like at least I recognize it and maybe someday that will change. But for now I’m a fan of “me time” and sleeping in on the weekends so….
August 21, 2012 at 6:34 am
haha Im the same. Im around 80% for the no and then I spend time with my soon to be little cousin and I think about it..maybe its not so bad. Then I remember how much I like to travel and shop and go back towards the no side again. My mom is totally fine with no grandkids..his mom, not so much. Lucky for her, he has a younger sister and brother
August 21, 2012 at 10:14 pm
Both our moms are routing for babies BIG time!
August 21, 2012 at 6:58 am
Exactly. Borrow those of others, go home and enjoy your wine on the couch with the dog. When the time is right you’ll know–kind of like how it was when you knew that you wanted another dog. Cheers to personal choice…and wine!
August 21, 2012 at 7:09 am
You know my thoughts on this echo yours. I say 20s are for drinking, 30s are for kids. Although honestly I keep pushing it back…first early 30s…then 32, 33…the fact that I’m single doesn’t help, ha. But seriously – I’d rather have my 20s to myself to get everything out of my system than to saddle myself with a kid before I’m ready and always wonder what I’m missing out on, even if it is just drinking on my couch. Plus I have a fertile family; there’s always a new baby to cuddle or a cute toddler to chase or a little kid to play around with.
August 21, 2012 at 10:15 pm
I thought I’d have 2 by now but the older I get, the longer I want to wait….
August 21, 2012 at 7:23 am
For $7, I might have purchased two pairs. My husband and I have no kids to borrow, but I’ve known since I was about 5 that I wanted a bunch of babies. Not yet, though!
August 21, 2012 at 7:37 am
You look so cute!
And yeah. I like your thought process on this. I’m in no hurry. Which is a far cry from what I thought I wanted at the age of 20. Just like with weddings, I’ll let my friends deal with it all first and I’ll just go with “best practices” afterwards. Is this like cheating?
August 21, 2012 at 10:16 pm
Not so much cheating as parental osmosis.
August 21, 2012 at 8:02 am
It actually sounds very UNselfish. If you think about it, most of the reasons people HAVE kids are selfish, a lot of people seem to have them as a source of amusement for themselves rather than any genuine desire to raise a child. Of course I had mine for the tax break and to get the MIL off my back, so there you go.
August 21, 2012 at 8:51 am
“If you think about it, most of the reasons people HAVE kids are selfish, a lot of people seem to have them as a source of amusement for themselves rather than any genuine desire to raise a child. ”
This, exactly.
August 21, 2012 at 10:17 pm
Oooooh I forgot about the government cheese…
August 21, 2012 at 8:43 am
I feel ya on this one! It’s such a loaded thing to consider, because it’s not just your life – it’s the other parent’s life and the child’s life! My boyfriend wants them, and I’m rather impartial. I suppose I could have one…maybe…but I know for sure my life wouldn’t be incomplete if I didn’t have any! This could get interesting a few years down the line…
August 21, 2012 at 10:18 pm
That’s what the major struggle is for me- if I would really regret it later if i chose not to have any.
August 21, 2012 at 9:00 am
Haha I’m so with ya on this one sista. I’m one of the last of my best college girlfriends to both get married and have kids (both of which I’m really not sure I want) and from their experience I feel like I’ve definitely made the right decision for me for right now. When my two girls w kids came in town last weekend the first thing they said to me is “NO KIDS!! lets drink” hahaha followed by “keep the dog” when I asked if I should keep Lucy or have some babies lol. All I’m sayin is that going out to nice dinner and enjoying wine with friends on my own timeline just sounds much more appealing then changing dirty diapers and being trapped in my house on the regular taking care of a screaming child. It’s so funny though bc for so long I thought it was the only acceptable path (fam/kids) but now I see that it’s becoming so much more accepted/widespread to not take said path and do what makes ya happy! And if kids right now or ever isn’t that then so be it. Shopping for the win???
August 21, 2012 at 10:18 pm
Shopping ALWAYS ftw.
August 21, 2012 at 9:12 am
You’re not allowed to have kids until the rest of us have husbands.
August 21, 2012 at 10:19 pm
Haha that’s actually not that unlikely. But you will be a great sister-aunt
August 21, 2012 at 9:44 am
I love you, even if you decide to grow things in your uterus.
But if you go the childless route, think of how many vacations we could afford to go drink and ship together!!!
Just sayin.
August 21, 2012 at 10:20 pm
Well if I do I will make sure they spend enough time with their Auntie Kacy to inherit all her wonderful traits
August 21, 2012 at 10:51 am
You dont sound selfish at all! There are enough children born today that are given up for adoption or just put in orphanages and are missing out on the love they deserved from thier parents. So not being sure and or wanting to wait because you enjoy your life the way it is now is perfectly fine. I can say this because i am 43 and decided i never wanted kids. I love my 2 cats and parrot and so does my husband. Our pets are our babies and are spoiled like crazy! Animals are just as preciouse as childern are and deserve just as much love and attention. So enjoy your dog and your life the way it is!
August 21, 2012 at 10:21 pm
Great input, Linda, thanks
August 21, 2012 at 11:03 am
I’ll give you the honest low down
Pregnancy good. After birth, baaaaaaad. Hormones, baaaaaad. Pumping, baaaaad. Sleep, good actually. Shopping, yep still doing it. Wine..bean loves wine bars. Seeing that adorable perfect face every.single.day. Priceless.
August 21, 2012 at 10:22 pm
OMG I forgot about pumping. But youre right, your handsome little man was worth all of it!
August 21, 2012 at 11:54 am
I have finally decided I want to have 1 or 2… pref 1. I’m still waiting a couple more years though. I like beer. And shopping. And beer. And sleeping. And I think we have a lot in common…
I went to a wine fest a couple weeks ago, and I saw a couple babies chillin out and enjoying the scene. It made me feel better.
August 21, 2012 at 10:23 pm
I think I’d have to have 2, I would want them to have at least 1 sibling. Part of the reason I’m afraid to start!
August 21, 2012 at 12:05 pm
I am with you 110%! Every once in awhile I will think hmmm.. kids? And then say NO. It’s so weird. I like being a dog mom, though.
August 21, 2012 at 10:24 pm
I think time will tell and if there’s a time we REALLY truly want them, we’ll know. But for now, dog moms 4 lyfe.
August 21, 2012 at 12:18 pm
See, I’m the kind of person that sees a baby (really ANY baby) and immediately starts thinking about what it will be like when I have kids…I have the fevah, I can’t help it. Guess I should probably focus on the whole “getting married” thing first, though.
That being said, I think you will be a good DOG mom or HUMAN mom, whichever you choose! And being an aunt is also kind of the best job on the planet, so…
August 21, 2012 at 10:25 pm
You just need more cow bell.
August 21, 2012 at 8:12 pm
Borrow the baby for a fix anytime!!
August 21, 2012 at 10:25 pm
Done!
August 21, 2012 at 10:36 pm
Raising kids is a big deal, and I see no reason to rush into something that important, especially if you aren’t even 100% sure it’s what you want. That’s not selfish, thats good common sense.
I’m one of those people that have never had any question about whether or not I want to have kids. I’m quite convinced that I’m meant to be a mother, and cannot wait until I’m finally in a position where I get to be one. The child birth thing however, that does not sound so fun. I have friends that have been kind enough to share the not so pleasant details with me. You’re better off not knowing.
August 21, 2012 at 10:40 pm
Ignorance is most definitely bliss, especially in this case. And you my dear will be a fab momma.
August 23, 2012 at 11:31 am
I think it is awesome that you are putting so much thought into this. Having children is a HUGE commitment and I truly feel that most people don’t even think about it. They just do it because they are “supposed to do it” as the next step in life. Good for you for really thinking about what is best for you. I wish more people would do that!
August 23, 2012 at 10:55 pm
Couldn’t have said it better myself.
But then again you know my vote is for puppies, booze and cute toes.
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August 24, 2012 at 8:48 am
I HATE when people say “oh the timing will be right and you’ll know!” It’s annoying because maybe you just really won’t have any, but no matter what it’s a decision between you and your hubs and no one else!
I have a feeling that I may never end up having any kids, and I’m actually really okay with the concept. I don’t hate kids at all, and went nutso over my friends’ newborn (omg he’s adorbs). But, being around babies doesn’t draw out any urges to produce my own. I’m not sure if I am “broken” in terms of my clock ticking, or just haven’t met someone that made me feel stable enough to want them, but as I am hitting 30 next spring and am totally single, I think I’d rather just enjoy being a “sink” and taking fab vacations to visit my friends.
August 25, 2012 at 1:01 am
So the funny thing is, I was the first of all my friends to get married & I’m the last to have babies. None of my family or friends actually know I have doubts as to whether I want them or not. When I got married at 23 I was all for them & then I’d get scared. Now I’m 33 & I STILL am all wishy washy. I love my “me” time, shopping, wine, etc …. But (& it’s a BIG but) …. Deep down I have the feeling that if I don’t have any, I will really regret it later. I love my bond with my niece & nephew and even more, I LOVE watching the bond between my sister & her kids. I definitely want that! Yet I’m so scared …..
August 25, 2012 at 2:35 pm
I love this comment.
August 26, 2012 at 2:15 am
My husband and I have been together for 30 fabulous child-free years. You don’t have to have kids to have a great life.