Disclaimer: This post is wordier than most of my usual rants, and I get a little deep. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Hey there internet friends. Hopefully if you’re living in the northeastern sector of the US of A you are armed with working air conditioning and lots of frozen treats, because it is scorching out there. I really need to work on that whole “find a BFF with a pool and endless supply of wine” plan. It would also be great if that friend didn’t resemble Gisele Bundchen in any way, because that’s just not good for anyone’s self-esteem. I don’t ask for a lot.
So I’ve been a busy little beaver lately, still really enjoying the new job and still trying to figure out a realistic workout schedule. I’m almost out of Groupon yoga classes and rapidly approaching a decision of whether I want to pay my first born child to belong to a studio. I’ve done a few On Demand at-home workouts, but still prefer having someone push me in person. (Side note: the Bethenny Frankel Skinny Girl workout on Comcast On Demand is no joke. It seriously kicked my ass and I’m thinking of ordering the DVD for the whole workout. Anyone have it and care to weigh in with some reviews?) Speaking of yoga, much like a few of my beloved SW‘s, I’m really inspired by Rachel’s 31 day yoga challenge, and I think right now it’s actually a realistic concept. At the advice of Dr. Oz, I’ve been doing a few sun salutations every morning to kick-start my metabolism, and I have to say, it really does put me in a much better state of mind to start the day. I don’t know if it’s the deep breathing or it’s just getting my blood circulating, but I’m definitely going to keep it going and maybe even work to a more intense practice. I’ve also officially dropped my gym membership, so this would certainly help me stay motivated. I’ve managed to keep it up for the last 4 days, but I’ll let you know how it progresses…
Anyways, what I really wanted to talk about today was brought to my attention in a sales training I attended yesterday. It was one of the best professional training sessions I have ever attended (and I’ve been through a lot of them), but what I think really spoke to me the loudest was the concept of defining your vision. I think we all feel like we have some sort of vision, but I for one, have never been very good about committing to it. Sure I know that I want to be happy and healthy and successful, but what is it exactly that drives me? I’m so easily caught up in life’s distractions and excuses that I tend to lose sight of what I really want. I’ve never been into meditation (I’m way too ADD for that) but I think there’s a lot to be said for devoting some time either once a day, once a week, or just on an as-needed basis, to really focus on your goals and what you’re doing to make them happen. Whenever I actually take the time to really visualize and reflect on what it is I want, I almost always feel an immediate shift. I’m more motivated and resilient to bumps in the road. It’s easier to let go and leave negative thoughts and feelings behind you, and turn your eyes towards what lies ahead.
The speaker mentioned that when you want something bad enough, you will do whatever it takes to make it happen, and I couldn’t agree more. It’s only natural to fall victim to things like fear and laziness. But, what if I fail? I hate change. I don’t feel like working harder. Aren’t things good enough the way they are? These voices are the distractions that flood my mind and become the road blocks to my goals. But yesterday something clicked for me. I decided that, starting now, I’m going to start working towards my vision and really commit to it. I know it won’t happen overnight, and it certainly won’t be easy. But as I get older, the realization that you have to work for the things you want in life becomes clearer every day, along with the fact that no one’s going to do it for me. And I know there will be times when I take a leap of faith and fall flat on my face, or maybe I’ll land on my feet. But you never know if you don’t take a chance. Even at 29 I’ve learned that sometimes you just have to take risks, and more often than not, you won’t regret it. Except that time I tried to bring back overalls. That one didn’t pan out so well.
June 21, 2012 at 7:12 am
Well good for you. While a lot of training can be crap, sometimes you get one of those speakers that really hits home for you and you leave motivated and inspired. I love those times.
If you don’t mind me asking, what is your “vision?” I agree that no one will do anything for you. That’s for sure. But for me, it’s hard because I don’t have a clear “vision,” so to speak. In terms of long-term plans, I wish I had something that was eating away at me to get done and accomplished. I like goals like that, but lately I’m just kind of floating. Perhaps I need to meditate on it…if I had the patience
Good luck!
June 21, 2012 at 7:37 am
I think half the battle is taking the time to figure out what it is you really want. It doesn’t necessarily have to be one thing, it could be a Birdseye view of a lot of things. You have to let go of your doubts and judgements and just imagine all the ingredients it would take to make you happy. Nothing is too silly or frivolous or impossible. If you want it, add it to the list. That’s when you can start focusing on what you have to do to get there. But that’s just my 2 cents
June 21, 2012 at 7:53 am
I’m really ADD, so it’s easy for me to lose sight of my goals. With that in mind, I think taking time or meditation or whatever you want to call it to re-focus & center yourself is a great way to move towards achievement. I know I have a lot of big dreams right now & I’m actively working to not lose sight of them. I know you’ll do great if you keep this mindset!
June 21, 2012 at 7:59 am
I feel like these “go getter” thoughts have been stirring in my head recently too. Not even just professionally, but in personal life (like that time I forced myself to wait so I could hold the door for Cutey and therefore interacted with him for the first time (ps he has an awesome voice pps don’t get excited it consisted of “thanks” and “you’re welcome” but I did catch his eye a few times after that and even slow progress is progress…anyway)).
I have a vision. I’m just terrified of it. Fear runs my life and I’m sick of it. Sick of feeling inadequate and insecurure and looking like an asshole. I’ve lived 28 1/2 years of standing still for fear of taking the wrong step and it’s just bullshit. You get ONE chance at this. And by some miracle, I got two! And I’ve wasted my second chance so far and how fair is that? I need to locate my testicles (metaphorically of course) and use them. I need to stop sulking, stop making excuses, stop HATING myself and see me for what I really am. Pronto. Professionally, personally, whatever.
Guess what I’m saying is, I feel you girl. But you knew that already.
June 21, 2012 at 7:50 pm
I think part of the fear comes from knowing that when you realize what you want, you have to start going for it and that’s kind of scary. But I think you’re on the right track- just KEEP AT IT! The only person that can stop you is you.
June 21, 2012 at 8:05 am
First of all, if you find that friend with the pool and the wine, I hope you’ll let me be the third wheel in that friendship.
Second, I think it’s SO important to reflect on your goals. I just finished a “young professionals” class thing, and for 8 weeks, we talked all about our life goals and stuff. It’s like, I spend so much time at work carving out my work goals, I need to do the same thing for my personal goals!
June 21, 2012 at 7:50 pm
I absolutely agree- it’s important to think about your goals as a whole, not just professionally. And a lot of times figuring out one, helps figure out the rest.
June 21, 2012 at 9:03 am
I think goals can be overrated – so many people are planning their lives to the nth degree because we’ve all come to believe we can control everything. The more I try to keep things in order, the more I find the joy seeping out of everything I do. Are there things that are important to me? Yes…and I try to keep them in mind as guiding principles, but I have no bucket list, no “I must be better at…” resolutions. And the older I get, the happier I am that I’ve decided to just live life and not plan it all out.
June 21, 2012 at 9:13 am
I hear what you’re saying. I think that it’s also important to be realistic and know that everything’s not going to turn out exactly as the portrait you’ve painted in your head, and to always be open minded. What I want today might be totally different than what I want 5 years from now, and that’s ok too. Good point
June 21, 2012 at 9:04 am
And P.S. It makes me sad to hear young women with a lot of life ahead of themselves talking about failures and hating themselves. STOP. It’s called living. No apologies required.
June 21, 2012 at 9:11 am
Glad you’ve been loving your morning sun salutations! It’s so crazy what a difference a few minutes in the morning can make in your whole day!!
Also, your training session sounds fantastic! This? “But as I get older, the realization that you have to work for the things you want in life becomes clearer every day, along with the fact that no one’s going to do it for me.” Could not agree more!!!
June 21, 2012 at 7:51 pm
I have such a hard time getting out of bed in the morning and I’m always so slow-moving to start the day and this gives me so much more energy.
June 21, 2012 at 9:33 am
I was just thinking I need to make friends with someone with a pool, preferably who lives VERY close by. We don’t even have central air, so it’s been pretty unbareable! I love when you really learn at those types of sessions – and thanks for sharing with your readers.
June 21, 2012 at 7:52 pm
We didn’t have central air in our apartment and it was the worst. I am definitely thankful that we lucked out with our house!
June 21, 2012 at 10:35 am
I have the Skinnygirl DVD and really like it. It’s 3 short yoga-esque sessions and a stretch. I like the first 2 of the 3 workouts and they are great to do when you don’t have a ton of time.
June 21, 2012 at 7:52 pm
Thanks for the feedback- I think I’m going to buy it
June 21, 2012 at 11:13 am
Amen, sister. Amen. I feel like I’ve been so crazy-busy lately and – as a result – really reactionary. I think it’s so important to take a step back and look at things from a slower, calmer perspective and live with intention. Sun salutations sound like a great start. Maybe I should add those back into my morning routine.
June 21, 2012 at 7:53 pm
yes, exactly- “living with intention”! Love that.
June 21, 2012 at 11:17 am
Love this. Of course.
In a lot of ways, I think I’m awesome at having a vision and making it happen. I’m always in my head, and I usually know exactly what I want and how to get there. Moving here was the biggest example.
But, the biggest thing – my biggest vision of being a writer… I can’t seem to get there. I don’t know if it’s possible, but I shall keep trying.
I know you will do great getting wherever you want to be. Because I love you and I said so.
June 21, 2012 at 7:54 pm
I actually think of you as one of the people I know that really goes for their goals
I want to be more like you!
And don’t stress about the writing thing. Just reflect on it more and really think about everything that it would entail for you and it will build a stronger pull for you and make you work harder at it. I believe in you…and me.
June 21, 2012 at 11:21 am
Interesting about the Bethenny workout- I don’t know why, but I kind of always figured those workouts would be kinda wimpy. I think having a vision is a really smart way to attack your life. I find myself being a little too passive and apathetic and, really, nothing worthwhile is going to come out of that attitude.
June 21, 2012 at 7:55 pm
I know! And it was under the “beginner yoga” category- LIES! And I think that’s totally normal, especially at our age. But the earlier you start reflecting on where you want to be, you will have a head start and I things will definitely start to become clearer.
June 21, 2012 at 11:26 am
Change is scary, I’ve never been a fan of it. But I think the idea of nothing changing is even worse. I mean, I stayed with someone I could hardly stand just because I was too afraid of what might happen if I didn’t. Life is about changes, and taking risks, and finding out how much you’re capable of. I really believe you need to do whatever it takes to make yourself happy, and get everything you want out of life. Sometimes it just takes a little while to figure out what exactly that is.
June 21, 2012 at 7:56 pm
I totally agree, and I think my problem in figuring out what I want is that I didn’t devote enough time to it before. Especially in my last job. I figured “it’s easy, I know it like the back of my hand, why worry about what’s next?” But then sometimes outside circumstances force you to think outside your comfort zone and you realize it’s actually all in your hands.
June 21, 2012 at 1:15 pm
I think, just maybe, I’ve finally started to form the details on what my vision is. Or at least a few things it entails. This job is helping.
Also, Skinny Girl workout, you say? Since we got Tivo, I’m going to need to look through what it has to offer. I’m looking for a switchup to my strength training. Preferably one that doesn’t include jumping of any sort, as to not wake up my roommate in the early AM…
June 21, 2012 at 7:57 pm
A change of pace sometimes shakes things loose and you really get clarity on what you want. I’m so happy things are going well for you at the new job
June 21, 2012 at 3:02 pm
Oooh I hear you, girl, and I concur! I think thinking about it too much is almost…scary? Kind of? Which is why I put it off so often. But it’s something we should probably focus on from time to time
June 21, 2012 at 7:58 pm
100% agree
June 21, 2012 at 5:01 pm
You’ll never regret going after the things you want, but you’ll regret it if you don’t. Ya feel me?
June 21, 2012 at 7:58 pm
I’m picking up what you’re putting down.
June 21, 2012 at 6:28 pm
I absolutely couldn’t agree more. One thing that I’ve done is create a very deliberate setting for where I work (kind of like a vision board, but in 3D) – my desk is decorated with reminders of what I strive for every day. I’ve found it to be a wonderful motivator!
June 21, 2012 at 7:58 pm
That is an awesome system. I might have to steal that idea
June 25, 2012 at 11:29 pm
I usually blow of any and all training so I’m so impressed that you heard something so motivating. I think that with age comes more motivation…especially when it comes to career and family. Great post.