Happy Thursday, y’all.

I’m going to start of today’s post by revealing one of my deepest darkest secrets:  I’m not perfect.  WOAH.  Calm down.  I know- it’s shocking.
For example,  I address people with phrases that don’t geographically make sense for me.  (See above).  I don’t wash my hair everyday.  We’ve discussed these things and I hope you still like me despite them.

But one of my flaws in particular, of which I will be venting about today and that has been really driving me crazy lately, is my tendency to over-apologize.  Or apologize when I shouldn’t even apologize. If this is confusing, I apologize.

And the funny thing is, I hate that I do it.  As soon as those two little words “I’m sorry” escape from my mouth, I wish I could  catch them and swallow them back down.  It’s like I need a shock collar or something.

There are a few instances in which I let this happen, but no matter the reason, I immediately feel embarrassed and angry after I say it.  Just yesterday I had an incident where it happened.  I apologized for something I shouldn’t have even apologized for, and then as the person berated me about the situation a few times, I apologized AGAIN! Ridiculousness. And what’s so frustrating is as a young woman, I try so hard to be taken seriously, and in a matter of seconds, I’ve set myself back 20 spaces.  Admitted guilt without having done anything wrong.

Probably the worst of the “I’m sorry” offenders are the more passive-aggressive ones, served with a side of sass and a raised eyebrow or two.  (A la Simon Cowell.)  Just talking about it now makes me cringe.  It’s just that when someone snaps at me or talks to me like I’m an idiot, I am awful at just being honest and letting them know that they’re doing it, and trying to actually remedy the situation.  I guess I just assume that everyone knows how to talk to someone in a way that’s appropriate, so doing otherwise is a conscious decision.  So why bother even going there?  Instead, I wash my hands of the situation, but not without leaving behind a quick snarky meaningless “sorry!” as a token of my ingratitude.

I know it’s not something I’ll be able to *poof* magically remove from my vocabulary, and much to my discomfort, I know it’s going to take lots of practice.  And I will definitely continue to say “I’m sorry” in many situations.   To think otherwise would be totally unrealistic.  Sometimes I actually am sorry, and clearly I’m have no problems admitting when I am.

Maybe I’ll just come up with a replacement word, so instead of saying “sorry” I’ll say “Slurpies” or “Snowcones” and then everyone will just be left confused and craving icy treats.

It’s a plan.

Slurpies for the long rant.